How to Be Tactful

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Isaac Newton once said, "Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy." Being tactful is just that — having the ability to clearly communicate your message while being sensitive to those around you and not unintentionally offending anyone. Being tactful does not mean hiding what you really feel; it just means presenting your ideas in a way that would make them the most appealing and inoffensive. If you want to know how to be tactful, then you should see Step 1 to get started.
1
Think before you speak. Allow yourself a pause to consider how your words could be perceived, and to prevent yourself from making hasty comments. You may have an immediate gut reaction to something your boss or friend is saying, but take a moment to gather your thoughts before you come right out and say what you want to say. Ask yourself if it's the best time to present your ideas, if you should spend some time finding a better way to say what you want to say, and if people will be receptive to your comments right then.
• Though speaking with your gut can lead to a lot of interesting ideas, it can also help to take a few minutes to formulate your thoughts first. If you instantly disagree with something your boss says, for example, you're better off thinking of concrete examples for why you disagree instead of just blurting out that you think it's a bad idea.
• Notice the people around you. You may want to make a comment about how excited you are for your wedding, when one of the people there is going through a bitter divorce. Though you don't have to hide your enthusiasm forever, you may be better off finding a better time to make your comment.

2
Deflect negative comments. If people are making negative comments around you, you should avoid getting wrapped up in them if you want to be tactful. This is especially true if you're in the workplace and don't want to be part of the office politics.


3
Start with a positive comment before giving negative feedback. If you have to give negative feedback to someone, whether it's a coworker or your best friend, you should couch it in a way that makes the person the most receptive. This doesn't mean you should lie to the person if things aren't going well, but that you should start off with something positive so the person sees that you care about him or her.
4
Choose your words carefully. When it comes to being tactful, one of the most important things to keep in mind is that you should be aware of the words you use to express your ideas. You can still say what you want to say without offending people or coming off mean or like a know-it-all. When you're getting ready to state an opinion, ask yourself if the words you're using are biased, hurtful, patronizing, or just all wrong for the occasion. Then, find the words that will help further your ideas without offending anyone.
5
Choose your timing carefully. When it comes to being tactful, having great timing is half the battle. You may have something perfectly nice to say, which can ruin a social situation if you say it at the wrong time, and can lead to hurt feelings without you meaning to do any harm. Before you make a comment, ask yourself if this is the best time to make the comment, and if everyone there will be receptive to it. Ask yourself if it would be better to wait to get a more positive response, even if you're dying to say what you want to say.
6
Decline invitations politely. If someone asks you to do something, you should find a way to politely decline it, even if your gut is screaming, "Heck no!" Whether you're being asked to attend the baby shower of a person you barely know or to stay late at work on a Friday night, instead of immediately saying no and looking angry or upset about it, you should take the time to say how much you would like to do it and then give a brief explanation or apology about not being able to do it. This will still get the same message across, but you won't offend anyone in the process.
7
Don't reveal too much personal information to people you don't know very well. Another thing that people who lack tact tend to do is to go about announcing their business to every person on the street. If you want to have tact, then you can't go around telling anyone within earshot about your latest breakup, your new rash, or all of your personal problems. Telling people you don't know well all your business will only make them uncomfortable and won't lead to any new friendships; have tact and be aware of when people would like to hear more and when enough is enough.
8
Make sure your body language reflects your words. It's great if your words are sending a friendly and polite message, but if your body is telling people something different, then they'll quickly get a different picture. If you're telling someone something important in a delicate way, then you should make eye contact, face the person, and not hunch over or look at the floor. Give the person your attention and show that you actually care. It'll be hard for them to take you seriously if you're telling the person that he or she is doing great at work while you're looking in the other direction.
• Actions really can speak louder than words, so make sure that your body isn't sending a different message from your mouth.

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TACT

Tact is a keen sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or avoid offense. An acute sensitivity to what is proper and appropriate in dealing with others, including the ability to speak or act without offending. It is a skillful application of wisdom in handling difficult and delicate situation so as to achieve a win-win outcome in a face of obvious opposition or controversy. Other words synonymous to tact are diplomacy, discretion, wisdom, and discernment.
A man of tact is skillful and choosy in his language, such one would not say what every other people would say nor react the way others would. They are quick to learn but not quickly to speak; they are great listeners.
Tact is a virtue and tact can be developed. It is not what you are born with but any one that cares can develop this virtue. In all diplomatic relation, tact is indispensable. Wars and diplomatic shut downs have been avoided in the past because of tact and there is a local adage in my language that says “a man of tact is stronger than a man of war”. I believe the world will be a more peaceful place when our leaders become people of tact or rather tactful in their handling of matters.
Jesus is a great example of tact and I will reference two accounts to bush through this argument that He Jesus is a great example of tact. One account is when He was asked about the lawfulness of paying taxes to Caesar and the second is the account of the woman cut in the act. In the two accounts the answer of Jesus humbled His audience and they confessed to Jesus’ tact.

Mark 12:13-17.
13 Then they sent to Him some of the Pharisees and the Herodians, to catch Him in His words. 14 When they had come, they said to Him, “Teacher, we know that You are true, and care about no one; for You do not regard the person of men, but teach the way of God in truth. Is it lawful to pay taxes to Caesar, or not? 15 Shall we pay, or shall we not pay?”
But He, knowing their hypocrisy, said to them, “Why do you test Me? Bring Me a denarius that I may see it.” 16 So they brought it.
And He said to them, “Whose image and inscription is this?” They said to Him, “Caesar’s.”
17 And Jesus answered and said to them, “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.”
And they marveled at Him.

John 8:2-11
2 Now early[a] in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people came to Him; and He sat down and taught them. 3 Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, 4 they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman was caught[b] in adultery, in the very act. 5 Now Moses, in the law, commanded[c] us that such should be stoned.[d] But what do You say?”[e] 6 This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear.[f]
7 So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up[g] and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” 8 And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9 Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience,[h] went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. 10 When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her,[i] “Woman, where are those accusers of yours?[j] Has no one condemned you?”
11 She said, “No one, Lord.”
And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and[k] sin no more.”

The Power of Focus PT2

Focus is about staying on one thing until result is gotten, being a person of one thing per time. A settled stone gathers a lot of sand but a rolling stone gathers no sand. Possessing the staying power and ability is focus but so much people lack this ability and would chose to be involved in things than a thing.
Someone once said “If you stay on an assignment for ten years, giving that assignment your all; that by the end of the ten years you would find yourself at the peak of that assignment”. From observation, it is difficult to have people focus on a thing for so long, some may for long and not for so long; but focus is about so long for long is not long enough.
What then are in focus that makes it deliver results?
1. Precision: focus breeds precision, you can’t be focused and lack precision. Being exact on what to do and how to get that done.
2. Defines the flow of energy: focus will make one to channel energy to what is most important.
3. Fuels dream: keeping your eye on the expected end result stirs up an inner energy which is the fuel that keeps the engine going. A man of focus is keeping his eye on nothing but the anticipated outcome and as such becomes blinded to distractions.
4. Effectiveness and efficiency: this is a measure of expanded energy and generated result, with focus there is high efficiency.
5. Conserves energy: there are too much to be done with our energy but focus defines what best the energy is to be expanded on. You do not go about doing plenty things that will not add up.
6. Filter friendship: it is a waste keeping company with people who are going nowhere. The company one keeps defines the result possible

Mutual exclusion

In computer science, mutual exclusion refers to the requirement of ensuring that no two concurrent processes or event are in their critical section at the same time; it is a basic requirement in concurrency control, to prevent race conditions. Here, a critical section refers to a period when the process accesses a shared resource, such as shared memory. Two propositions (or events) are mutually exclusive or disjoint if they cannot both be true (occur). A clear example is the set of outcomes of a single coin toss, which can result in either heads or tails, but not both.
In the coin-tossing example, both outcomes are, in theory, jointly exhaustive, which means that at least one of the outcomes must happen, so these two possibilities together exhaust all the possibilities.[1] However, not all mutually exclusive events are collectively exhaustive. For example, the outcomes 1 and 4 of a single roll of a six-sided die are mutually exclusive (both cannot happen at the same time) but not collectively exhaustive (there are other possible outcomes; 2,3,5,6). So in essence when you have two options, they are always jointly or collectively exhaustive.
Life presents us with choices and these choices are both mutually exclusive and collectively exhaustive. It is collectively exhaustive in the sense that we must take decision and make our choices, you can’t excuse yourself but the very choice we have made excludes the other possible choice as both cannot be true (outcome).
In essence you make your choice and the choice you have made makes you; this is the true situation we find ourselves daily. But I have a concern, my concern is that we see people who are very careless with opportunities that have to take decision and they go about it as if nothing is at stake. They make choices and still want to determine what the choice they have made brings to them; this is impossible. Each time you have an opportunity to make a choice which presents itself daily, do that with a sense of high responsibility because no one eats his cake and still have it.