The secret to success

Practical techniques you can adopt are:

1. Learn to cope with stress

2. Develop self-esteem (confidence)

3. Develop effective strategies to cope with conflict

4. Develop a positive attitude

5. Learn to be patient

6. Re-appraise your situation

7. Learn from feedback

8. Maintain a healthy lifestyle

9. Manage your time better

Self Management Skills

12 Things Successful People Do Differently

You Are Of More Value

Look at the birds! They don’t worry about what to eat—they don’t need to sow or reap or store up food—for your heavenly Father feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than they are. Matthew 6:26 TLB

YOU CAN START NOW

Even the Kings could learn from Animals

There was a King, he had 10 wild Dogs and he used them to torture and eats all ministers who made mistakes. So one of the ministers once gave an opinion which was wrong, and which the king didn’t like at all; so he ordered that the minister to be thrown to the Dogs. So the minister said I served you 10 years and you do this to me? Please give me 10 days before you throw me in with the dogs so the King agreed
In those 10 day the minister went to the guard that was guarding the Dogs and told him he wants to serve the Dogs for the next 10 days ; the guard was baffled but he agreed, so the minister started feeding the Dogs, cleaning for them, washing them and providing a sort of care and comfort for them;
And so 10 days were off and the king ordered that the minister be thrown to the Dogs for his punishment.
The minister was thrown in but everybody was amazed by what they saw and said “what happened to the dogs”? Then the minister said to the King “I served the dogs for only 10 days and they didn’t forget my service, yet I served you for 10 years and you forgot all at my first mistake”.
So the king realized his mistake.

11 Things You Should Leave in the Past

You might not be proud of all the things you’ve done in the past, but that’s okay. The past is not today.
Here are 11 things to leave behind and grow beyond:

1. Letting other people write your life’s story. – You could spend your whole life worrying about what other people think of you, or what they want for you, but it won’t get you very far. If you don’t take charge and design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? NOT MUCH! Read The Last Lecture .
2. The fear of making mistakes. – Past mistakes should teach you to create a wonderful future; not cause you to be afraid of it. Be less afraid of making a mess out of your life. For oftentimes, our greatest achievements and our most beautiful creations ascend from the emotions we live, the lessons we learn, and the messes we make along the way. Just ask a poet, an artist, a songwriter, a lover, or a parent; in the long-run things rarely turn out as planned, just better than you ever imagined.
3. The belief that ‘perfect’ means the same thing to everyone. – Perfect people have scars on their faces and perfect complexions. Perfect people have long brown hair at 60 and short grey hair at 35. Perfect people wear wigs. Perfect people have sex with men, women, both, or none at all. Perfect people can barely see over the grocery store counter, and sometimes bump their heads at the top of doorways. Perfect people have waistlines that are infinite in size and geometry. Perfect people have skin tones as light as vanilla ice-cream and as rich dark chocolate. Perfect people come from every corner of this beautiful planet and can be seen everywhere – even in the mirror. Yeah! That’s right! Perfect is the way we are born. Perfect is the way we are now. Perfect is exclusively unique. We are all perfect just the way we are.
4. Negative thinking. – If there is one thing I am certain of, it’s that our thinking can get in the way of our happiness. It is our thoughts that really dictate the way we feel, so why not choose thoughts that make you feel amazing? The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. You can choose to make the rest of your life the best of your life.
5. Doing something just because others are. – Give yourself permission to immediately walk away from anything that gives you bad vibes. There is no need to explain or make sense of it. Just trust what you feel. Don’t make a decision based solely on popularity. Just because other people are doing it doesn’t mean it’s the best choice for you. Read The Art of Non-Conformity .
6. Not following your intuition. – One day your life will flash before your eyes; make sure it’s worth watching. Stop and think about it. Really think about it. What is it that you really want to do with your life? Forget what you think you should do. What excites you? What feels impossible? Be honest with yourself. Your answers don’t need to make an impression on anyone but you.
7. Procrastinating on your goals and passions. – The difference between who you are and who you want to be, is what you do. Yes, it will hurt. It will take time. It will require dedication. It will require willpower. You will need to make healthy decisions. It will require sacrifice. You will need to push your mind and body to its max. There will be temptation. But, I promise you, when you reach your goal, it will be worth it. And remember, nothing you have passion for is ever a waste of time, no matter how it turns out.
8. The belief that failure is the opposite of success. – Failure is not the opposite of success, it is part of success. Failure becomes success when we learn from it. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Instead of looking at what’s missing, and how far you still have to go, focus on what’s present, and how far you have come. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People .
9. Showing a lack of respect. – Sometimes you have to respect another person’s feelings even if they don’t mean anything to you, because your gesture could mean everything to them. And remember, what goes around comes around in the world. You get respect when you give respect. So treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.
10. People who want you to be someone else. – Sometimes we grow strong when someone sets us free, and sometimes we grow even stronger when we let someone go. Remember, you are too fabulous to fit in. It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not. Never change who you are. Be yourself. People will love you for it, and if they don’t, let them go.
11. People who are already gone. – There are no failed relationships, because every person in your life has a lesson to teach. Sometimes you simply outgrow people. Don’t try to fix the unfixable, just accept it and move on. When someone leaves you, it’s important to emotionally release them. And know it’s not an ending – it’s a new beginning. It just means that their part in your story is over. Your story will go on.

POST WRITTEN BY: MARC CHERNOFF

Why Winners Win and Losers Lose

We all want to be winners. We all want to succeed. So why then do so many of us struggle indefinitely and come up short? It has something to do with how we think, what we focus on, and how we live each moment.
Here are a few ideas on why winners win and losers lose.
 Losers fail once and quit. Winners fail a thousand times and eventually succeed.
 Losers look for success at the finish line. Winners experience success along the way.
 Losers work to make money. Winners work to make a difference.
 Losers buy things. Winners build things.
 Losers see things they don’t understand and get discouraged. Winners see things they don’t understand and get curious.
 Losers talk. Winners communicate.
 Losers attempt to conquer the world in one shot. Winners add up all their small victories.
 Losers expect certain outcomes. Winners prepare themselves for the unexpected.
 Losers seek respect. Winners earn respect.
 Losers stare at the problem. Winners look around for the solution.
 Losers review options. Winners act on decisions.
 Losers are paid for their time. Winners are paid for their results.
 Losers let things happen. Winners make things happen.
 Losers want to get ahead of others. Winners help others get ahead too.
 Losers hangout with losers. Winners hangout with winners who are more successful than they are.
 Losers follow other people’s definitions of success. Winners define their own success.
 Losers escape fears. Winners face fears.
 Losers waste their free time (watching TV). Winners use their free time (learning or experiencing something new).
 Losers see the unknown as a risk. Winners see constant familiarity as a risk.
 Losers live in the past. Winners live life now based on lessons learned in the past.
 Losers label themselves as experts. Winners know there is still much to learn.
 Losers over-sell. Winners over-deliver.
 Losers frown. Winners smile.
 Losers think winners are lucky. Winners realize the harder they work the luckier they are.
 Losers want it NOW. Winners understand delayed gratification.
 Losers lack discipline. Winners realize that the pain of regret is greater than the pain of discipline.
 Losers see challenges as obstacles. Winners see challenges as opportunity.
 Losers give up just before they succeed. Winners try just that one more time.
 Losers focus on what they don’t have. Winners focus on what they do have.
 Losers follow the common path. Winners take the road less travelled.
 Losers protest. Winners ask questions or make enquiry.
 Losers hide out in the background, thinking they’ll participate once they’ve “got it all together.” Winners show up as they are, as their “best selves.”
 Losers don’t want to share their success; they take credit for achievements. Winners invite everyone to be on the team to share the work and the victory. Winners acknowledge those who’ve helped them.
 Losers don’t act, because they’re afraid. Winners are afraid, too, but they just move forward, seeking the support and resources they need.

Source: www.marcandangel.com/

PLAN TO WIN

8 laws of life for success

Source: Susanna Halonen
1. Be persistent and determined. Work hard for what you want in life. Don’t give up if it gets rocky – that’s a sign you’re about to make a breakthrough.
2. Make time to rest your body and mind. That’s the only way to stay energized and keep going. And you’ve earned the rest. Find the balance in your life. Don’t wait for someone to create it for you, only you can create it for yourself.
3. Stay positive. Your mindset controls your happiness so take care to control your mindset. Feeling tired? Sit up and keep your head high. Feeling low? Smile. Simple changes in your body language can improve how you’re feeling as well as spread good vibes around you.
4. Turn every challenge into an opportunity. These are the best opportunities for you to learn and grow. It’s all about how you decide to approach them.
5. Be grateful for what you have. Appreciating the now will make you realize how much in your life you have to be thankful for. And focusing on this will attract even more goods.
6. Follow your intuition. Your gut feeling is more often right than not. You may not understand it then but you might understand it in hindsight.
7. Make choices for yourself. Don’t let others decide on your life. You are the master in your life.
8. Find a job you love. This will bring out the best of you. The world wants to see you at your best, doing what you love, doing what you do best.

PARENTING STYLE

A parenting style is the overall emotional climate in the home, it can be

1. Authoritative parenting - Authoritative parents rely on positive reinforcement and infrequent use of punishment. Parents are more aware of a child's feelings and capabilities and support the development of a child's autonomy within reasonable limits. There is a give-and-take atmosphere involved in parent-child communication and both control and support are balanced. Research shows that this style is more beneficial than the too-hard authoritarian style or the too-soft permissive style. An example of authoritative parenting would be the parents talking to their child about their emotions.
2. Authoritarian parenting - Authoritarian parents are very rigid and strict. They place high demands on the child, but are not responsive to the child. Parents who practice authoritarian style parenting have a rigid set of rules and expectations that are strictly enforced and require rigid obedience. When the rules are not followed, punishment is most often used to promote future obedience. There is usually no explanation of punishment except that the child is in trouble for breaking a rule. "Because I said so" is a typical response to a child's question of authority. This type of authority is used more often in working-class families than the middle class. In 1983 Diana Baumrind found that children raised in an authoritarian-style home were less cheerful, more moody and more vulnerable to stress. In many cases these children also demonstrated passive hostility. An example of authoritarian parenting would be the parents harshly punishing their children and disregarding their children's feelings and emotions.

3. Permissive parenting - Permissive or indulgent parenting is more popular in middle-class families than in working-class families. In these family settings, a child's freedom and autonomy are highly valued, and parents tend to rely mostly on reasoning and explanation. Parents are undemanding, so there tends to be little, if any punishment or explicit rules in this style of parenting. These parents say that their children are free from external constraints and tend to be highly responsive to whatever the child wants at the moment. Children of permissive parents are generally happy but sometimes show low levels of self-control and self-reliance because they lack structure at home. An example of permissive parenting would be the parents not disciplining their children.

4. Uninvolved parenting - An Uninvolved or neglectful parenting style is when parents are often emotionally absent and sometimes even physically absent. They have little or no expectation of the child and regularly have no communication. They are not responsive to a child's needs and do not demand anything of them in their behavioral expectations. If present, they may provide what the child needs for survival with little to no engagement. There is often a large gap between parents and children with this parenting style. Children with little or no communication with their own parents tended to be the victims of another child’s deviant behavior and may be involved in some deviance themselves. Children of uninvolved parents suffer in social competence, academic performance, psychosocial development and problem behavior.

There is no single or definitive model of parenting; with authoritarian and permissive (indulgent) parenting on opposite sides of the spectrum, most conventional and modern models of parenting fall somewhere in between. Parenting strategies as well as behaviors and ideals of what parents expect, whether communicated verbally and/or non-verbally, also play a significant role in a child's development. Uninvolved Parenting style is a very dangerous parenting model because the child is left to him/her self and anything left to itself is certainly prone to danger.

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THE POWER OF FOCUS

The only explanation why a convex lens lights a paper kept under it while it faces sun is focus. With focus much can be done with very minimal effort and without focus little is done with maximum effort.
Focus is all about being able to know the few things that matters the most and putting in all your resources to them to achieve the best possible result. Many things are seeking attention but few things merit your attention; you can’t be jack of all trade and master of all. In professional ladder, people start with general philosophy and narrows down to one philosophy; you can’t find a professor of general medicine but of an arm of medical science, that is focus.
HOW TO BE FOCUSED
There is a natural tendency in man to be involved in too many things at a time; variety is the spice of life and monotony breed boredom. But in many instance, having result demands focus and there is a how to focus.
1. Define your assignment – you must have a good knowledge of what you are out to achieve; define your vision and seek to understand it very well.
2. Know your resources - what are the resources available to you?
3. Make a priority list and be committed to following the list
4. Take on your assignment and assign resources to them in their order of priority.
WHAT ARE THE POWER OF FOCUS
1. Focus offers precision and accuracy
2. Focus defines the flow of energy
3. Focus conserves energy
4. Focus fuels dreams
5. Focus makes for effectiveness and efficiency

7 RULES OF LIFE

FOCUS

There is someone for everyone

God is the perfect creator and maker of all good things; every good and perfect gift in life comes from Him – James 1:17 every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
He is always thoughtful in His creation and makes great provision for every of His creature. The account of creation attested to this as there was no animal until there was plant for animal to feed on and no plant before light needed for photosynthesis; that is a great planning. Also there was no woman until there was a man and not just a man but a man already in need of a woman in his life.
I will love to say that God creates in pairs, male and female He created them – Genesis 1:27. For every male there is a female created as well, but it demands time and patience for them to locate each other. To explain further this truth, the word said “not one shall lack her mate” - Isaiah 34:16. So lady there is a man for you and guy there is a babe for you whatever odds you think are against you notwithstanding. God created you with your likely match in mind so that you can fit in perfectly.

SKILL

Skill is an ability and capacity acquired through deliberate, systematic, and sustained effort to smoothly adaptively carry out complex activities or job function involving ideas (cognitive skill), things (technical skill), and/or people (interpersonal skill).
Skill is a product of experience and practice, it is not just what you can do but how you do what you can do. Training and repeated practice are enhancers of skill; so skill is acquired and is not transferable. Knowledge which is vital connect to skill can be transferred through teaching and learning but skill comes through conscious and repeated practice.
There is a great relationship between time and skill; it takes time to develop skill or skill is acquired over time. There is no quick fix to acquiring skill; one must be ready to go through a process to have it but the time varies from one person to another depending on interest and natural bent.
TYPES OF SKILLS
1. Cognitive skills are the abilities to gain meaning and knowledge from experience and information. Cognition is more than just learning information, it's the ability to think about new information, process and speak about it and apply it to other, previously acquired information. As children mature, they develop the ability to think on higher levels, processing information more skillfully and making connections to other information more easily; so cognitive skill develops as a child mature and this explains why our sense of judgment improves as we grow or mature.
2. Technical Skills are the basic knowledge required to perform a task. It is earned through training and practice and it defines proficiency and the hiring value of personnel in an establishment.
3. Interpersonal skills are the life skills we use every day to communicate and interact with other people, both individually and in groups. People who have worked on developing strong interpersonal skills are usually more successful in both their professional and personal lives. Interpersonal skill has components or attributes and there are below: Verbal Communication, Non-verbal Communication, Listening, Questioning, Manners, Problem Solving, Social Awareness, Self-Management, Responsibility and Accountability, and Assertiveness.